This is Part 2 in a 4-part series about Women’s Friendships by Sheree Franklin
In my work as an Intuitive Coach and Counselor, romantic and family relationships aren’t the only ones that cause my clients pain. Many of my female clients come in feeling like their hearts have been ripped out when a female friendship ends, seeking answers to the most common question: WHY?
There is no way we can protect ourselves from being hurt, but women can consciously choose to be more intuitively aware of the relationships that they choose to bring into their lives.
When I work with women around these issues, my process begins with what I call “peeling back the onion,” as I ask my client to explore internally the following two questions:
- How did the friendship begin?
- What warning signs did you receive, intuitively, about the person from the very beginning that you either ignored or swept under the rug?
Gently guiding my clients through a deep breathing exercise, while considering these two questions, helps them tap into information that their intuition has logged into their subconscious mind.
“The information is always there if you choose to listen.” (from my book Intuition: The Hidden Asset Everyone Should to Learn to Use)
Through my sessions with over 300 female clients, I have developed a model of the four types of friendships women operate in, the risk each type of relationship poses, and the lessons that can be learned in these interactions. In Part 1 of my Women’s Friendships article series, I discuss Acquaintance Friendship.
The second common female friendship type I have identified are what I call apprentice friendships.
Apprentice Friendships
These are friendships that have been ongoing for 5 years or less. Both people are actively engaged in trying to figure each other out to determine if the friendship is of value to them. Many of these friendships are based on shared experiences, and the further you get away from what the two of you have gone through together, the easier it is for the relationship to no longer be a priority.
Risk factors: If a conflict occurs in these short term friendships, the two individuals usually do not have the foundation to work through their differences. Many women know intuitively at the time of the disagreement that there will not be a second chance to mend the relationship.
Lessons to be learned: Conflicts that arise within these types of friendships can be resolved, but only if both friends are willing to be totally honest and to discuss their issues without holding anything back. If one person is not willing to invest the time and effort to work out their differences, it will be impossible to put the friendship back together.
If you encounter a situation where your friend will not discuss things with you and you value the friendship, put your ego aside and let the other person know it does not matter who is right or wrong, that the friendship is important to you. Giving an apology does not guarantee that the other person will respond or even try to work things out. Repeated attempts to reach out to the person who does not want to be bothered will cause emotional pain to the person who is trying to work things out. It is better to reclaim your power and chalk this friendship up to an opportunity for growth.
Healing the emotional pain of being dumped takes the ability to (1) Forgive yourself for past mistakes and (2) Release feelings of anger or resentment toward your former friend. If the two of you continue to operate in the same personal or business circle, confine your comments to a cordial greeting and keep other friends that both of you know from being involved or asking them to take sides. In other words, keep it moving when you see each other and remember that the best “revenge” is to have a good and happy life!
Intuitive Life Strategist Sheree Franklin helps people to find the courage to release their life challenges in order to live in alignment with their true self. She is the author of Intuition: The Hidden Asset Everyone Should Learn to Use. To learn more about Franklin’s book go to www.amzn.to/1UxlWLG. Sheree Franklin is a practitioner at Holistic Health Practice at One East Superior, in Chicago. Her practice includes one-to-one coaching as well as speaking to corporate and nonprofit organizations. For more information, go to www.shereefranklin.com or call 312-664-8376.